Anne Melnyk coaches people who are committed to making a difference in the world but who may be struggling with balancing a career, a cause & a- life. www.redpathcoaching.ca

As I mentioned in Part 1 of Achieving Dynamic Balance in last month’s issue, it is important that you don’t allow the complexities of dynamic balance scare you.

Yes, modern life is hectic and many people struggle with juggling work, family, relationships, financial concerns and social commitments, however, achieving a state of dynamic balance is actually easier and more instinctive than you might expect. It requires employing 7 essential skills, some of which you may already proficient with.

The first of those skills, was immortalized by Shakespeare more than 400 years ago, in his play Hamlet, in which the character Polonius counsels the young prince “This above all: To thine own self be true.” It was wise advice that has stood the test of time.

1. Know Yourself
   Without a high degree of personal clarity about who we are and what we want from life, the fluid ease of dynamic balance will be elusive. Understanding the essence of who we are, what we want and value, and our purpose provides us with the basic elements of our balance profile.

   What are we committed to juggling? What are the must-haves in our life, the balls that cannot be dropped if we are to have satisfying lives? What are the nice-to-haves but ultimately expendable balls?

   Self-reflection and knowledge are essential skills to develop in order to refine our balance and guide our journey down the path of life.

2. Choosing
   We need to stop looking at life like an all you can eat banquet. Having it all may be possible, depending on how you define all, but you can never have it all at the same time. Realistically we have finite time, finite energy and a finite ability to appreciate things all at once. Understanding your needs, desires and values, allows you to challenge your assumptions about what must be included in your life and gives you the tools you need to set priorities and consciously choose how to invest your time and energy.

3. Creating Space
   When we are committed to achieving something, we tend to become very directed, purposeful and sometimes rigid in our pursuit, however, we are not automatons and cannot thrive if every moment of our time is devoted to achieving something. One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is the freedom just to BE, with no agenda at all. We need the freedom to be spontaneous, to change our minds, evolve, change direction, rest and rejuvenate.

   Embracing the practice of preserving free space in your life will allow you room to maneuver, and to experience the ease and grace of true dynamic balance by allowing you room to breath, precious time to recharge and by giving you the ability to accommodate the unexpected without undue stress.

4. Setting Boundaries
   Setting boundaries is an important part of preserving not only the achievement of your purpose in life, but of your sanity in the process!

   It is impossible to achieve a state of balance if you are constantly servicing other people’s unreasonable requests, or undermining yourself by neglecting or running roughshod over your own dreams and intentions.

   Setting and maintaining boundaries is an art and science that can only be learned through awareness and practice. Boundaries must be solid enough to provide protection, but flexible enough to adjust to circumstances if required. Unnecessarily rigid boundaries can sometimes cause more problems than they solve, however neither should they be spandex, allowing for infinite incursions into your territory!

5. Detachment
   When we look at our lives and create a vision for what we want to achieve, we sometimes fall into the trap of attachment. We become attached to what, when, or how, our dreams unfold, and we define a straight-line path to our target, littered with shoulds, musts and have-tos, which we attempt to walk without wavering.

   This again is one of those instances where we must apply some flexibility to our journey. Holding too tightly and attempting to exert control over how life unfolds will create an unnecessary level of struggle and effort in our lives.

   As we travel through life we will encounter challenges that may require course corrections, or we may reach new waypoints that provide new perspectives, information or opportunities that might influence our choices.

   Our first plan or choices are not always our best ones. Being detached from decisions we have made about the “right way” to achieve what we set out to do will help to keep you open to new ideas and opportunities, and allow you to be responsive, effective and in balance.

6. Responding
   Responding to life rather than reacting to life is a key ingredient to successfully achieving dynamic balance.

   A person who is able to respond to events and circumstances arising in his life does so with an understanding of the big picture context in which they operate. In contrast, when we react, it is typically a shortsighted knee jerk reaction to pressure, fear, or pain without regard to long-term consequences.

   This highlights the importance of carrying an awareness of your life’s purpose with you at all times, so that you can take a deep breath before you react to circumstances, and consciously choose what is in your best interest.

   Just like learning new dance steps, you will have to consciously think about your next step, but eventually, with practice, you will simply begin responding with fluidity, grace, and balance.

7. Self Care
   And finally, (don’t roll your eyes) the importance of self care.

   It is very easy to let your own needs drop off the radar screen when you are pressed for time and in pursuit of a worthy goal, however is a recipe for stress, ill health and unhappiness. Ultimately however, no one wins when you suffer. Not you, not your family, not your business or career, not your community and not the planet at large. When we are suffering we have nothing to give to ourselves or anyone else.

   There will always be times when we sleep or exercise too little, eat too much or feel the need to work too hard, but this is one of the areas that is particularly important to keep in a state of micro balance. We have finite reserves to draw on before we begin doing significant damage to our bodies and our spirits.

   Self-care activities such as eating well, exercising, and taking the time for relaxation, creative expression and spiritual practices are essential to reenergize yourself and create resilience for those times that you are unbalanced!

   Temporary imbalances are an integral part of achieving dynamic balance. They are a normal part of life. The trick to maintaining some semblance of balance is to recognize and respond to imbalances, so that they do not become the norm in your life.

Enjoy the dance.