Anne Melnyk coaches people who are committed to making a difference in the world but who may be struggling with balancing a career, a cause & a- life. www.redpathcoaching.ca

Part 1 – The 4 Elements of Dynamic Balance

We all want to achieve some measure of balance in our lives. It speaks to us of the possibility of living a life with of greater ease and grace, less stress and with more time and energy available for the things that are important to us. But what is balance? And how can we achieve it if we don’t know what we are aiming for?

People have traditionally portrayed achieving a work/life balance in terms of it being a simple balance of time or energy spent between the two dichotomies. Simple balance can be illustrated by visualizing a playground teeter-totter. As a child you may have stood with your feet on either side of the fulcrum of the teeter, shifting your weight back and forth until you were able to bring it to a level steadiness.

But the idea of simple balance does not apply well to people, because it doesn’t take into consideration the intricate complexities and dynamic nature of our lives. Let me introduce you to the idea of dynamic balance, and its 4 defining elements.

Dynamic Balance is Multi-dimensional
The concept of dynamic balance addresses the reality of our need to balance multiple dimensions of life. People typically need to balance their own physical, spiritual, and emotional needs, maintain and contribute to relationships with family and friends, and honor community and work obligations. However, each of us has our own balance profile. Each area of our lives reveals its own unique complications. For example, you might be pursuing a degree, transitioning to a new career, embarking on a new exercise regime or adding child or elder care to your balance profile.

The longer the list of balance dimensions and the more conflicting obligations you include in your balance profile, naturally the greater level of stress you will encounter as you try to achieve the idea of simple static balance.

As you read the description of dynamic balance, did you break out in a cold sweat? It can be very intimidating to stop and realize just how many balls you are juggling in your life and to look at the ones you have dropped and lay neglected in a corner. But take heart. It is possible to achieve a sense of peace and balance, in spite of the complexities. But first we need to shift our understanding of what balance is and isn’t.

Dynamic Balance is Dynamic!
For many of us, the idea of balance equates to a respite, or a plateau place in which we have the chance to catch our breath and relax our grip on life because we are in full control of the balance dimensions of our life. Our ducks are in a row so to speak, and it requires only a light touch to keep things moving along as planned.

When we reach this place we heave a sigh of relief and hope to settle in permanently. While we do benefit from briefly laying down the burden of juggling our lives, the trouble is that the plateau is an illusion. Life is not static. Life is constantly changing and evolving. If we choose to be seduced by the pseudo peace of the plateau we risk getting stuck in a rut, or getting whiplash as we scramble to catch up.

The objective of dynamic balance is to recognize the reality and pace of change, but to alter our relationship with it. Instead of going hard and then collapsing, we need to learn how to pace ourselves in such a way that we never feel the need to collapse!

Dynamic Balance is Perceptual
Perception affects your experience of balance. And your perception of balance depends upon the measuring stick that you use.

What measuring stick do you use to determine balance? Is it the amount of time you devote to different pursuits? Is it how you feel? Is it dependent on achieving specific goals, or achieving a specific recipe for success? Is it successfully managing to live the dream of having it all? What is it for you?

Achieving balance is a personal determination. What one person would experience as profoundly out of balance, you may experience as precision balance. It is the needs of your balance profile and your perception of how successfully you are meeting your needs that determines your experience of balance.

Dynamic Balance is Multi-Temporal
Just as dynamic balance is not static, neither is it time-bound. So often we seek to micro-balance our lives in the moment. If we aren’t in balance today, or this week or in this particular area of our life, we tend to make global judgments about our state of balance.

The tyranny of the concept of ‘having it all’ has done a disservice not only to working mothers, but to all of us. We simply can never have everything we want, all at the same time. We have finite time, finite energy, and a finite ability to appreciate it simultaneously.

The idea of having it all reminds me of a story I loved as a child, called ‘Pookie’s Big Day’. Pookie, was a young rabbit that dreamt all his favorite days, Christmas, Halloween, his birthday and Guy Fawkes Day were all rolled into one fabulous day. The dream gradually turned into a kaleidoscope nightmare of presents, turkeys, fireworks, candy, stomach aches and exhaustion. He awoke with an understanding of the precious gift of having and appreciating one thing at a time.

Our lives have rhythms and seasons that we must respond to. Some periods of our lives might be overwhelmingly devoted to education, and friends, others to career development and child rearing, and yet others to recreation and contribution. Over the span of our life we may discover that we have achieved a macro-balance and truly had it all, we just didn’t have it all at the same time.

Dynamic balance can be experienced as micro-balance, or macro-balance or somewhere in between. Some areas of our life may be in a daily flow of micro-balance. Others might be operating on a different and longer balance cycle, profoundly out of balance during some periods in our life and then in a satisfying equilibrium in others.

It is important that you don’t allow the complexities of dynamic balance scare you, because achieving dynamic balance is actually easier and more instinctive than you might expect! Next month in Part 2 of Achieving Dynamic Balance we will be talking about the essential skills that will allow you to easily achieve dynamic balance in your life.

The good news that you need to take away for now is that:

• You are in control of your experience of balance.
• You decide what you need to balance.
• Not everything has to be in balance at the same time for you to be in balance, and
• That achieving dynamic balance is natural as breathing. You can do it!